By 
UNFPA, United Nations Population Fund
In Amman, Mazin Mohammed Riadh, who fled to  Jordan from Iraq in 2007 in  the midst of sectarian violence, remembers how he  could not break the  nervous habit of looking in the rearview mirror of his car  to see if  someone was following him. In the Jordanian city of Zarqa,  18-year-old  Shahad cries every night because her father has been refused   resettlement in the United States and she thinks she has no future as a   refugee.
Across town, Kadeja  Jaber tells how she uses her ingenuity to keep  her small home in exile happy  since her family was forced to leave the  Iraqi city of Najaf after her brother  was killed.
More than 40 million  people around the world—a number roughly equal  to the population of Kenya or  Spain or Poland—are uprooted from their  homes and internally displaced within  their own countries or living as  refugees in another country.
Each one of them,  many of whom will never  go home, are often “disoriented, traumatized, confused,  fearful,  disempowered, dependent, helpless,” said John Holmes,   Under-Secretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs, when the United  Nations  launched a new report in May 2010 showing that internally  displaced people  outnumber refugees.
Over the last decade or two, the Office of United  Nations High  Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) has out of necessity blurred a   once-clear line between the internally displaced and refugees who flee  from  country to country. Both populations have similar needs and  similar fears when  conflict forces them into flight.
  
  
Iraq is a case in  point.
     
According to the  UNHCR and government estimates, in mid-2010,  there were 4.8 million Iraqis “of  concern,” a description that means  they felt that they could no longer live  safely at home. Of these, more  than 2.6 million were displaced within Iraq and  1.9 million had  crossed borders into another country. Conversations with Iraqi  families  who have sought refuge in Jordan reveal that many of them have   experienced both: first moving from place to place in Iraq in search of  safety  and then finally, and in desperation, fleeing the country  entirely, sometimes  with death threats hanging over them. After  national elections in Iraq in 2010,  a new fear has complicated the  lives of Iraqi refugees who say they are  concerned that with the Iraqi  political climate declared to be “normal” and  sectarian violence  reduced (though not ended) they will be sent back by host  countries in  Europe and some parts of the Middle East.
Iraq, with about 29  million people, is a youthful country. The  median age of its people is just  over 20, with more than a third of the  population falling into the 0-14 age  group, and about a fifth in the  15-24 age group. So among the frightened people  are solemn, wide-eyed  children who barely grasp what has become of their lives.  Their  parents, fathers and mothers suffer anguish.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
Mazin Mohammed Riadh,  who says it took him six months to overcome  the fear of being followed, is a  37-year-old engineer from Baghdad. He  recalls how his wife and children lived  in terror when the family  arrived in Jordan from Iraq in the summer of 2007.
Several relatives of  his wife, Hirraa Abass Fadhil, who is 26, had been killed  by members  of a Shiite militia because of their Sunni names; one uncle targeted   for death was an imam. “My son was frightened when he saw a policeman  because  of his experience back home, because of the sectarian nature of  the police,”  Riadh said. He takes the little boy into the street to  shake hands and talk  with Jordanian police officers to learn that they  will not harm him. Riadh said  that he and his wife had problems of  their own to overcome before they were  able to focus on their children.  “We needed to settle down mentally. We needed  to feel secure first.  When we came to terms with things around here, then I  started to teach  my children to live normally.”
The couple’s two young  sons, Abdullah, born in 2003, and  Abdurrahman, born two years later, are now  adjusting reasonably well,  their parents said. The problem is Adam, the  15-year-old brother of  Hirraa, one of her three siblings living with them in  Jordan. Their  mother died in 2000 giving birth to the youngest of the three, a  sister  named Nawal. Their father died a year later of heart disease. Another   sister, Havaa, is 19, unsettled and unsure about her future because  university  education in Jordan, much of it private, is beyond the  family’s financial  means. Riadh said that he had promised his wife that  he would always look after  her sisters and brother and keep them all  together as a family. That pledge has  led to an unexpected setback in  their lives as refugees, said Riadh, a  softspoken man obviously shaken  and distressed by dissension in the family over  their next move.
Riadh, who has  engineering skills, had been offered resettlement in  the United States. Adam  refused to go, and his family won’t leave  without him. The situation they  face—their future in the hands of a  disturbed 15 year old—illustrates well, but  sadly, the complications of  refugee life that go on even after a return to some  sense of security.  Adam has never recovered from the killing of his brother,  Omar, gunned  down at the age of 18 in Baghdad when he entered a Shia  neighborhood  where someone recognized him as a resident of a Sunni section of  the  city known to harbor Al Qaeda terrorists.
In Iraq by 2007, Hirraa said,   “Corpses filled the street, both Shia and Sunni.”
In Amman, the  Jordanian  capital, the UNHCR office had prepared for a flood of Iraqi  refugees in 2003,  after the American-led invasion of Iraq. But they did  not come then. It was not  until 2006 and after, when sectarian  killings began to explode, that many  Iraqis were finally forced to  flee. That was the setting from which Riadh  escaped.
“For Adam, things are  terrible,” Riadh said, through an  interpreter. “Omar was his idol, his friend,  his brother. After he  died, Adam used to dream about him every night. He would  go out in the  streets hoping to find him alive to bring him back. Omar’s death  has  affected the whole family, but it has affected Adam most. He was in a   horrible mental state when we arrived in Jordan. He didn’t want to see  anybody.  He did not want to go to school. We took him for counselling.  He went once or  twice and then he said, ‘Am I crazy that you are taking  me there?’ He did not  want anybody to see him there. We are forcing  him to go to school. The first  year he came here he got into a fight;  it was a fight between two schoolboys  because he was an Iraqi.”
When the chance to  move to the United States was offered, Adam was  adamant that he would not go.  He had heard a rumor that he would be  drafted into the American army, but that  was only one excuse, and the  fact that there is no conscription in the United  States made no  difference. “He is threatening that if we try to force him to go  he  will leave here and go back to Baghdad, even if that means getting  killed,”  said Riadh. That is why, in mid-2010, the family’s future was  put on hold.  Riadh was determined to keep trying.
The Riadh family’s  experience in Amman has been eased by the  generosity of Jordanian and  international non-governmental  organizations and moves to open government  social services, including  basic education and some subsidized health care, to  them. Reproductive  health services, often free, are widely available for Iraqis  in Jordan.  In the Riadh family, Hirraa, who has been looking after her own two   children and her sisters and brother during stressful times, gets  regular  attention from the Jordan Health Aid Society, a five-year-old  non-profit,  non-governmental organization that has begun to expand  regionally with mobile  clinics. In Amman, the medical teams make house  calls, so that women do not  have to go out alone in a still-strange  city. The care Hirraa gets includes  regular diagnostic tests and  screenings.
Until he refused further  treatment Adam was counselled by the  Institute for Family Health of the Noor Al  Hussein Foundation in Amman,  which was originally established as a mother-child  health centre in  1986 under the patronage of Queen Noor, the widow of King  Hussein, who  died in 1999. In 2002, with European Union financing and advice  from  UNFPA, the institute expanded into a comprehensive psychosocial   counselling centre. Now 30 per cent of the institute’s clients are men,   including many seeking counselling, said Manal Tahtamouni, an   obstetrician-gynecologist who is the institute’s director. The institute  also  offers rehabilitation services and assistance for victims of  torture or  gender-based violence. The Iraqi clientele grew after  refugees began arriving.
“At the moment we have a steering committee of Iraqi  men,”  Tahtamouni said. “They have taken overall management of one of our   projects.” She said that Iraqis, many of whom are professionals or  generally  middle class, come with high expectations for themselves but  little sense of  community. “Individuals or families, they are mainly  isolated not only from the  host community but from other Iraqi families  as well. We try to involve Iraqis  and Jordanians in the same  activities, so that they can socialize and help with  integration.”
Zeina Jadaan,  Assistant Protection Officer for the UNHCR in Jordan,  says that bullying of  Iraqi children in school has raised awareness  among Jordanians as well as Iraqi  refugees about the broad  interpretation of gender-based violence and attacks  based on  nationality. Both physical and psychological abuse are too often   silently accepted by society and victims themselves. “They do not always  know  that what they are doing is abuse,” she said. “Women often think  that being  beaten is normal.” Jadaan said that child abuse is  frequently related to sexual  and gender-based violence among refugees  living out of their home environments  and under multiple challenges.  Her analysis is echoed widely—in such places as  different as Bosnia and  Herzegovina and Liberia, where directors of counselling  centres say  that domestic violence and child abuse are often linked to conflict  or  other societal disruptions.
Cases of both  gender-based violence and child abuse brought to the  attention of UNHCR are  first analysed and investigated through  interviews conducted in a sympathetic  manner: How can we help? As in  virtually any part of the world, abusers among  the refugees are often  family members or other people known by the victim. Some  cases are  eventually referred by UNHCR to the Jordanian Government’s Family   Protection Department, which Jadaan described as “very efficient and  helpful.”
 The Department is “a one-stop shop,” she said. Its services  include psychosocial  counselling, legal counselling, reconciliation  counselling for individuals or  families and health and forensic work.  “And what is even more important,”  Jadaan said, “is that they have the  power, being a government agency, to tell  the husband or whoever the  perpetrator is that they have to abide by the laws,  whether  international conventions or national laws. They can refer cases to the   courts if necessary.”
  Despite the help  Iraqis can find in Jordan to get them through a  traumatic period,  the reality remains that for a family like  Riadh’s,  resettlement in a third country is often the best hope of building a   better life as long as conditions remain dangerous in Iraq.  Jordan has  not signed the 1951 refugee convention,  and Iraqis are treated as  temporary “guests,” not able to work legally in the  country, though  some have found jobs in the informal sector or under  sponsorship  programmes. “Without legal status or access to livelihoods, and  facing a  precarious economic situation,” UNHCR says, “an increasing number of   Iraqis are finding themselves in dire circumstances.”
By some estimates,  there may be as many as half a million Iraqi  refugees in Jordan. But only about  30,000 have registered with UNHCR.  About 12,000 of them are given financial  support, according to family  size and needs, ranging from just under $100 [70  Jordanian dinars] a  month to as much as $400 [290 dinars] for larger families  with special  vulnerabilities. Most use the cash assistance for rent, food and   medicine.
Arafat Jamal, deputy  representative in Jordan of the UNHCR, said  that the Iraqi refugee population  in Jordan is not in sprawling camps  as outsiders might picture; Jordan was  opposed to such settlements.  There are no fields of tents flying the UNHCR  flag. Rather the Iraqis,  many of them middle class and from urban areas, moved  directly into  cities or large towns in Jordan and had to find places to rent.  The  financial assistance they receive is dispensed through ATM machines (a   system now also in use among Iraqi refugees in Damascus). Meanwhile,  more and  more well-educated and wealthier Iraqis are moving on to third  countries,  leaving behind a residual population that has fewer  resources and is more  dependent on support from international donors  and aid agencies.
Christians are among  the poorest Iraqi refugees. One of the  international groups working with Iraqi  Christians in Jordan is  Messengers of Peace, a non-governmental organization  based in Spain but  with operations in 40 counties. Many Christians were  targeted by  extremists in some parts of Iraq. Father Khlail Jaar, who  represents  the organization in Amman, says many of these Christians who came to   Amman say they do not receive the level of support services they had  expected,  he wrote in a 2008 report. His assistance programme, though  it aids people of  all faiths, has 75 per cent Iraqi Christian clients.
   
   
Some of the poorest  Iraqis in Jordan have found homes in cities  and towns away from Amman because  costs of living in the capital are  high. In a crumbling alleyway in the city of  Zarqa, about 30 kilometres  north of Amman on the road towards Damascus, Hassan  Alibayadh lives on  the edge of subsistence with his wife, Azhar Ghani, and two  teenage  children, a daughter, Shahad, 18, and a son, Ahmad, 17. Their front   room is barely large enough for a small sofa, a few chairs and an old   refrigerator; their clothing is on hangers in a stairwell. Alibayadh is a   visibly troubled man who had just learned that his application for  asylum in  the United States had been rejected, even though he had been  told earlier that  he met the criteria for resettlement. He wonders: Was  it because he is a Shia  and thought to be safe in Iraq with its  Shia-led government, even under a death  threat? Was it because he had  once served in the Iraqi army, though long years  ago? Was it because he  was brain-damaged by an explosion while in military  service, or  because he suffers from epilepsy? He doesn’t know, and he refuses  to go  back to UNHCR and ask for a review.
“I was so depressed by  the refusal I couldn’t even watch  television,” he said. “My world blacked out.”  Now confined to his  shabby home, the third they have lived in and fallen behind  in paying  rent on, he is accused by his son of ruining their life. His  daughter,  he says, cries every night. His wife is holding the family together.   “My wife is very resourceful,” he said. “One month she pays the rent,  the next  she pays the shopkeeper. She keeps the ball rolling.” His  current landlord was  not threatening to evict them as others had done  for late payment of rent, set  at about $84 a month for a few small  rooms.
In a more cheerful  house in Zarqa, in a neighborhood where  low-income Iraqis have formed a sense  of community, 22-year-old Kadeja  Jaber is also keeping her family afloat. A  mother of a two-month-old  baby and a boy of four, she has covered the dull gray  walls of their  small house with gift-wrapping paper to brighten the atmosphere.  She  received a grant from the Jordanian Red Crescent to buy mattresses and   cloth to cover them to make a comfortable sofa. She took courses in  embroidery,  doll-making and sewing various items for sale such as tote  bags and hanging  cloths with pockets for storing household items. She  enrolled in a four-day  home-production course run by a non-governmental  organization under Jordanian  royal patronage and was given 100  Jordanian dinars (about $140) when the course  ended as a challenge to  “invest” it in something she could sell for profit. She  bought  ingredients and made sweet biscuits and other food for sale, and came   out with money to spare.
The family, Shiites from the city of Najaf, where her  brother was  killed, has secured regular stipends from various sources that,  along  with income from occasional work her husband, an automobile refinisher,   can find, give them a total income of about $400 a month. Jaber, who is   illiterate, says that she is taking birth-control pills because they  cannot  afford to have more children.